Email spammers have somehow learned what specific phrases to employ in the subject line of their emails in order to get me interested; phrases they somehow know will speak to me in a personal and powerful way. Their messages arrive in my inbox bearing subject lines populated with provocative phrases such as "Hi, oil spot," "Shook up accomplish," and "them taken."* (That last one probably reels in a lot of suckers. I know when I read "them taken," I can't help but wonder what was taken, or whom, and where were they taken to, or what was taken from them? The need to unravel mysteries like these is something I suspect we all share.)
Of course, I'm being facetious. These weasels... er, people, seem to have gotten the idea that we can be moved--either to action or towards the formation of an opinion--by simply throwing together strings of random words. (Maybe they've been paying attention to the speeches of the latest crop of politicians.)
I'm hardly a novice where computers are concerned, so I think I have a fairly good idea of how they get their hands on my email address; no mystery there. What puzzles me is how they know I'm having problems getting and maintaining an erection. Personal privacy experts tell me that I should be concerned at such intrusions into my personal information, and I am, though in my case I'm more concerned with the types of information these people are accessing as opposed to the fact that they can access it at all.
You see, the way I figure it is if the spammers actually got their hands on the right information at the appropriate time and emailed us offers we really, truly needed, why we'd have a national holiday in their honor. "Spammers Day" would fall on September 29th every year, because that's my birthday and I'm the one who thought of it. We'd all grill out in the Indian summer heat (sorry, "Native American" summer heat) and we'd cook nothing but tuna steaks. (I know you were expecting me to write "Spam(TM)," but I hate that stuff and it's my holiday.) We'd feast on grilled yellow fin, and sing the praises of those brave men and women who gave up nothing (that I can think of) but who provided us such valuable information, for free, via email, over the previous year.
Of course, it would have to be really useful information to warrant such a hullabaloo, but that's the point I'm getting at (slowly, true, but I'm getting there). Instead of refinancing offers, drug offers, and such; how about emailing us with information on where to get the best price on the Bedazzler(TM) or tips on which sores to worry about. You know... stuff we can all really use.
* Actual email subject lines from actual emails in my actual inbox today. Actually!
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